What ‘Marriage Story’ still gets right about divorce – and the mistakes to avoid

Although released in 2019, Marriage Story remains one of the most realistic cinematic portrayals of how separation can unfold and the divorce mistakes that can arise when communication breaks down and positions become entrenched.

The introduction of no-fault divorce and increased use of online systems have modernised the divorce process, but the risks highlighted in the film remain.

This is where early, clear legal guidance can make a significant difference.

At its core, the Netflix film is not about who is right or wrong. It is about process. And what happens when that process is not handled carefully from the outset.

When separation starts well but unravels

Nicole and Charlie begin with good intentions. They attempt mediation and appear committed to reaching agreement amicably.

But that approach quickly falls away.

Communication breaks down. Trust erodes. What begins as a manageable situation becomes adversarial. This is a familiar pattern where early discussions are not properly structured or supported.

One of the most common divorce mistakes at this stage is assuming that goodwill alone will carry the process through. Without structure and clear guidance, even well-intentioned discussions can quickly become misaligned.

The cost of divorce mistakes

The film shows how quickly costs of divorce can escalate once positions harden.

Both parties spend significant sums on legal fees, despite recognising that the money could have been used for their son’s future. Decisions become driven by strategy rather than outcome.

Early, clear advice can help avoid this. Keeping matters proportionate and focused often makes a significant difference.

Children and relocation

At the centre of the story is Henry.

Decisions about where he will live and how time is shared become increasingly complex, particularly once Nicole remains in Los Angeles.

What began as a temporary arrangement becomes something more permanent, largely because expectations were not clearly agreed.

In England, the focus is always on the child’s welfare. Agreeing clear child arrangements early can provide stability and avoid later disputes, particularly where relocation is involved.

A common mistake is relying on informal agreements without considering how they may need to work in the longer term. Where children are involved, clarity at an early stage is essential.

The role of legal advice

Marriage Story highlights how different legal approaches can shape the outcome.

A constructive approach can support resolution. A more aggressive strategy can increase conflict and cost.

The right family law advice should provide clarity, manage expectations and help you move forward in a measured way.

Taking advice early does not mean escalating matters. In many cases, it helps to avoid unnecessary conflict and keeps discussions on track.

Why this still matters for clients today

While the film is based in the United States, many of the issues it highlights are equally relevant in England.

We regularly see situations where:

• One party assumes arrangements will remain informal.
• Communication breaks down at an early stage.
• Decisions are made without fully understanding the legal position.

Even with a more straightforward divorce process, the wider issues, particularly finances and arrangements for children, still require careful handling.

Taking advice early can help you understand your position, avoid common mistakes and approach discussions in a more structured and constructive way. Understanding the divorce process at an early stage can also help prevent matters from escalating unnecessarily.

What this means in practice

The film offers a clear reminder that:

• Early communication matters.
• Informal arrangements can create risk.
• Escalation increases cost and stress.
• The approach taken at the outset shapes the outcome.

With the right support, many of these issues can be avoided.

Separation is rarely straightforward, but it does not need to become adversarial. Taking a considered approach from the outset can make a significant difference to both the outcome and the experience of the process.

Kerry Fretwell