Co-parenting through COVID-19

This is an extraordinary time for all of us, but separated families have an additional hurdle to tackle and it is throwing up a lot of worries and questions.

In this article, we addresses some of the most frequently asked questions from parents in this unprecedented time.

Should I stop contact due to health risks?

A common concern among parents is whether to stop their children from moving between households due to the potential health risks. While understandable, government advice is clear.

Children should continue spending time with both parents, and moving between homes is an exemption to the ‘Stay at Home’ rules. However, if both parents agree that it’s safer for their family to temporarily suspend contact (e.g., if one parent is a frontline worker or shielding), this decision will not be challenged.

But, using COVID-19 as a reason to restrict access without medical justification is not in the children’s best interest. Restricting access to a parent can be damaging, especially as children are already missing out on school, friends, and other aspects of their routine.

Parents should ask themselves if their decision is driven by anxiety or genuinely for their children’s wellbeing.

How do I ensure my ex-partner is following health guidelines?

This can be a tricky issue. While it’s natural to worry about what’s happening in the other household, you can only control what happens in your own. Trusting that the other parent is acting in the children’s best interests is crucial.

Communication is key—talking openly about your concerns can help ensure both parents are on the same page about safety measures. If communication is difficult, a solicitor can assist by helping to draft an email or communicating on your behalf.

My ex-partner is blocking contact without reason. What should I do?

If you are being unfairly prevented from seeing your children, it’s important to stay calm and avoid conflict. Courts will look back on how parents managed these situations, and restricting access without valid reasons could have long-term consequences.

A well-crafted email that addresses concerns might resolve the situation, but if this doesn’t work, a solicitor’s letter may carry more weight. In urgent cases, the courts are still available for intervention.

What if a court order is in place, but it no longer works?

Sir Andrew McFarlane, President of the Family Division, clarified that moving children between households is exempt from lockdown rules. Parents can agree to alter court-ordered arrangements to keep the family safe. If no agreement can be reached, one parent can change the arrangement if they believe it poses a health risk. However, this should not be abused, as courts will later address any decisions made without the children’s best interests in mind.

Will my upcoming child arrangement hearing go ahead?

The courts have adopted remote hearings via telephone or Skype as the new standard. In cases where fairness or justice requires it, and if it’s safe to do so, in-person hearings may still take place.

It’s crucial to communicate with your ex-partner or their solicitor to ensure the hearing is suitable for remote arrangements, and that the court has all necessary contact details.

How can I maintain my relationship with my children during this time?

Reduced face-to-face contact can be difficult, but technology can help bridge the gap. Regular video calls through platforms like Facetime, Skype, or Zoom are great for staying connected.

Engage children with activities such as quizzes, storytelling, or even watching a movie together while apart. Remember, this situation is temporary, and it will not impact long-term visitation rights.

How can we avoid future disagreements if the situation changes?

Planning ahead for potential scenarios—such as self-isolation or illness—can reduce stress later on. It’s helpful to discuss these situations in advance and agree on a plan with the other parent. If communication is difficult, seek help from a solicitor to draft a co-parenting plan.

Finding positives amidst the challenges

While the pandemic has stretched relationships, spending more time at home can deepen connections with your children. If the children aren’t with you, take comfort in knowing they are safe, and this situation won’t last forever.

This time could also be an opportunity to improve communication with the other parent, which could continue after the lockdown, making future co-parenting smoother.

If you need legal assistance during these challenging times, get in touch with us for expert advice and support. We can help you navigate any co-parenting concerns and ensure your family’s wellbeing remains a priority.