Is there such a thing as a ‘good’ divorce?
Everyone’s experience of divorce is different but what is certain is that no one sets out to get a bad divorce. Most people have been through a lot by the time they instruct a solicitor. Divorce is often the culmination of months or years of disharmony.
Divorce is a process, it involves conversations, negotiations, and concessions. What can really make the difference to both parties’ experience of the process and what can make a ‘good’ divorce is the way it is conducted. The approach of the lawyers involved and the solicitors’ ability to move things on sensibly and constructively is paramount. Clear and practical legal advice is essential. Our family law solicitors at Thomas Mansfield have significant experience in expertly guiding our clients efficiently through the divorce process whilst taking account of their particular needs.
For some, a good divorce means a large financial settlement and keeping hold of the family home. It might mean having a regular arrangement for spending time with their children. Or, it could be a swift clean break that quickly undoes the financial ties.
More often, a ‘good’ divorce is a combination of factors that ultimately sees the marriage formally drawn to an end on terms that work for both parties and any children.
I know from my work as a mediator that few clients relish the thought of coming face-to-face with their ex, and of having those difficult conversations. However, there is a lot to be said for doing this in a safe and supportive environment. You’ll have the backing of your Family Law solicitor and, if you use mediation, your mediator too. The really interesting part of this is that once clients have taken that initial ‘plunge’ – whether that’s seeing their ex for the first time in months, or having that first conversation with them – they say things start to become easier. Ice is broken, boundaries slowly get broken down. And sometimes (if things are handled well by all involved), divorced couples are able to move forward on better terms than they had thought possible.
What is clear is that those parties that manage to work together with the shared aim of getting the divorce finalised, and who can set aside some of the strong feelings that hamper progress (and actually set things back considerably), stand a far better chance of emerging from their divorce feeling that it wasn’t the terrible experience they had feared it would be. Some might even look back on it as a ‘good’ divorce.
For advice about separation or divorce, contact Susi Gillespie or any member of the family team on 01892 337542 or email Susi at [email protected]
